Hello tumblr … I haven’t been here in about a year O.o
Hey everyone, long time no see! Just want to let you all know that I probably won’t be updating the blog any more.
If you wish to contact me, then please head over to my new blog, Sweet Rattery, where I am sharing my pet portraits! Or even if you don’t want to talk to me, still head over any way ;)
Peace out x
I’m so depressed.
This is the only place I can say this.
The past three or four months I’ve felt totally disconnected with myself. I feel no connection with my body or my mind, and no desire to use either … My sex drive has vanished, my passion for learning has died away, and all I ever seem to be doing is working or thinking about working. I do enjoy my job, but I feel as though I don’t really have a life outside of it anymore.
I was going through my Tumblr today and was amazed by how inspired and in love with the world I used to be - hell, I was even more in love with the world whilst I was in the middle of my deepest depression than I am now. I found small things to adore, to lust over, yet now I just literally don’t care. Perhaps I am still in the midst of depression now? The only difference is I have a job that I have to commit to and no energy to think of much else.
This week is the first week I’ve had more than a day or two off in a while, and I thought I’d enjoy it, but it’s just made me realise how empty I am.
I miss feeling connected with myself. In one with my needs and desires. I miss feeling sexual and intelligent and passionate. I miss being that person. Right now, I just see myself as a dark humored, short and ultimately disinterested person. I couldn’t be more different to myself right now.
Isn’t it odd how quickly our opinions of ourselves can change without us even noticing?